A Burdened Novel Series * Book Blast * Giveaway

We're really excited to be hosting Felisha Antonette's A BURDENED NOVEL Book Blast today! Felisha is giving away a $25 Amazon Gift Card and a 4 book set of her A Burdened Novel series! Enter and win!!

FOUR TIMES BROKEN (A Burdened Novel – Book 1)

When Tracey’s life spirals out of control, who will help her pick up the pieces?

Tracey Warren’s last year of high school is mapped out: stay focused, graduate in a few months, and get the hell out of Bennington, Virginia. The finish line is in plain sight and everything is going according to plan. Until a car accident sends her plans spiraling out of control.

After a chance encounter with a diabolically handsome stranger, she is left with questions that only Nathan Newcomb can give her the answers to. But being around him makes her head spin and being away from him makes an unbearable pain consume her.

There is only one cure, and being the girl mated to a Burdened Sephlem won’t be an easy road. It will be destined for chaos, but Nathan’s magnetism draws Tracey in, and she can’t resist him. Once they are bonded, danger lurks around every darkened corner, and the greatest one may be coursing through the bloodlines running through Nathan’s veins.

Can their love survive or will their burdened souls surrender and fade away?

 
 

THREE TIMES TORN (A Burdened Novel – Book 2)

Tracey’s fun and free life has taken a nefarious turn. Since releasing her heart to Nathan, the repercussions for choosing to love a Burdened Sephlem have been deadly, daunting, and more dangerous than she ever predicted.

If life only allowed her a moment to breathe, to break away from her tainted father and chaotic friend, the injurious bonding may be easier. But there are sentiments rushing through her veins that is twisting her through a whirlwind of bliss and chaos. And a breath of fresh air only resides in one place. . . Until he’s changed. . .

Someone who lives to destroy Tracey’s mate, Nathan, has the perfect concoction for tragedy and Tracey is his primary ingredient. Influenced by the sinister intentions of Roehl, Nathan’s half-brother, Tracey’s outlook on her bond has faltered. She will be required to choose again, and all signs point in the wrong direction; for her and her friend.

We’ve made it onto Lunis’ radar. A full-blooded Sephlem who’s driven by torturing others. He claims he’s owed a debt and Nathan will do anything to protect his family from him. He’ll put his life on the line if needed, and Lunis guarantees he will take it. This threat seems far more likely to succeed when we invade his guardhouse to rescue Olar.

Can bonds tied to the soul be broken, or will a Burdened Sephlem have to bare his soul to keep his mate?

 
 

TWO TIMES SLAIN (A Burdened Novel Book 3)

Loyalty, deception, honesty, and death.

These factors in Tracey’s life have taken her from an innocent teenager to a strong-minded young adult when she took the leap that no human or Sephlem would dare to. And while none of the promised perils have materialized, her strength has yet to be tested. Now, the secrets behind the midnight eyes of her mate have started to come to light, and this unbalanced truth affects her, her parents, and what’s left of her friends.

When her mate’s mother gets abducted and everyone leaves to find her, Tracey’s left to fend for herself. She finds peace in finally being alone without the bond of her mate overwhelming her and revels in a freedom that she has tried to obtain since mating. But it is short lived. She wakes, bound and blindfolded, awaiting a torturous greeting from an unlikely foe… Someone who has an appetite for vengeance.

The Burdened has rule over Nathan and his life. The more he fights it, it prevails. But rescuing his mate and his mother is a dead cert, and Nathan will destroy anything and anyone who stands in his way.

A prophecy has set the fate of Nathan and Tracey’s relationship and the Sephlem race—their union more significant than either realizes. As the future unfolds and their love is tested, will it endure the deepest pain of their loss?

Love has found its match.

 
 

ONCE TIME PASSED (A Burden Novel Book 4)

Loyalty, deception, honesty, and death.

These factors in Tracey’s life have taken her from an innocent teenager to a strong-minded young adult when she took the leap that no human or Sephlem would dare to. And while none of the promised perils have materialized, her strength has yet to be tested. Now, the secrets behind the midnight eyes of her mate have started to come to light, and this unbalanced truth affects her, her parents, and what’s left of her friends.

When her mate’s mother gets abducted and everyone leaves to find her, Tracey’s left to fend for herself. She finds peace in finally being alone without the bond of her mate overwhelming her and revels in a freedom that she has tried to obtain since mating. But it is short lived. She wakes, bound and blindfolded, awaiting a torturous greeting from an unlikely foe… Someone who has an appetite for vengeance.

The Burdened has rule over Nathan and his life. The more he fights it, it prevails. But rescuing his mate and his mother is a dead cert, and Nathan will destroy anything and anyone who stands in his way.

A prophecy has set the fate of Nathan and Tracey’s relationship and the Sephlem race—their union more significant than either realizes. As the future unfolds and their love is tested, will it endure the deepest pain of their loss?

Love has found its match.

 
 

______________________

I flick my enamored gaze back onto the black-and-white tiles, cheeks on fire. Crap! He probably thinks I’m like the floozies from earlier, stupefied by a cute smile and well-lined beard.

And to make it worse, he cackles, head falling forward, having a few strands of his hair fall onto his forehead.

I snort, hating I’ve become his amusement today.

There’s cautiousness in his movement when he drags his hands from his pockets and approaches me. “Let me help you,” he drones. His reach is precarious, but when he latches onto my waist, his grasp is steady. I’m ambushed by a plethora of sensations from the contact; my heart stutters and my breaths rush from my lungs as he lifts me off the bed.

“Thanks,” I mutter, meeting his eyes. Which, is something I’ve been trying to avoid since I had passed out.

They take me in, and the hazel-brown swirls. I stare in awe as liquid emerald blends with milk chocolate.

He blinks and backs away, releasing his hold. I didn’t notice how aware I was of his hands being on me until they fall away, an immersing sense of comfort and warmth going with them.

“Let’s go. It’s getting late; you need to get home.” His rigid, deepened voice differs from the discerning one he used only moments ago.

“Um,” I mumble.

He lifts his gaze and looks past my shoulder toward the doorway, eyes brown again.

My eyes narrow and I point to his face. “That’s different.”

“I know,” he says. “It’s also a pain in my ass.” He sweeps his hand toward the door.

Not wanting to pry, I shrug and walk out of the room.

“Hi, Mrs. Waturstrom,” I greet the woman behind the nurse’s desk. “I’m a little better, but my head still hurts. May I have something for my headache that’ll tide me over until I get home, please?”

“Of course, Tracey. Nice to see you’re okay. I’ll give you a Tylenol for your pain and a bottle of water. Wait there a moment,” she adds, turning away to her cabinet of pain-relieving goodies. Our school nurse is a nice little lady whose smooth skin and perfect posture is a compliment to her age. She says it is because her late husband kept her young. He passed away a year or so ago, and it’s noticeable his passing broke her heart. She lost the spring in her step. Now, she’s the basic happy nurse, keeping a smile on and speaking with a slight hint of excitement but it’s not from her heart. If it weren’t for the small, tear-shaped scar under her right eye, she’d be flawless for her age.

I rest against the counter. “Thank you.”

“Now, Tracey. I’m not trying to meddle, but sometimes I can’t help myself.” Mrs. Waturstrom examines the label of a pill bottle and continues, “Are you two dating?”

My eyes bulge. I hurry to sober them, knowing he can see my expression with him only being a foot away. “No, ma’am. I don’t even know him,” I hurry to say, wanting to clear up any confusion. “There was an accident.”

“Oh!” she gasps as if my denial of our involvement is unbelievable. “I’m sorry, dear. I thought, well, with the way he carried you in here and his concern over you being well. That boy even fell asleep in that hard chair, waiting for you to wake up.”

 

Felisha Antonette writes young adult and new adult romance, paranormal and contemporary, sweet and sexy. There’s a little bit of something for everyone! She cares most for the enjoyment of her readers and loves making others happy may it be through her stories, encouragement, or volunteering. When she’s not writing and ‘momming’ she’s a team leader for kiddos and teens at her church (Cornerstone – Chandler, AZ), working out at the gym, binging on a Netflix series, or trying to defeat Mr. King Dice in Cuphead with her daughter Namia!

Website: www.felishaantonette.com
Twitter: www.twitter.com/peiriann
Facebook: www.facebook.com/feeantonette

GIVEAWAY!

Felisha Antonette is giving away a $25 Amazon Gift Card and a 4 book set of her A Burdened Novel series!

Terms & Conditions:

• By entering the giveaway, you are confirming you are at least 18 years old.
• Two winners will be chosen via Rafflecopter to receive either $25 Amazon Gift Card or the whole 4 book A Burdened Novel series!
• This giveaway ends midnight July 19.
• Winner will be contacted via email on July 20.
• Winner has 48 hours to reply.

Good luck everyone!

ENTER TO WIN!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Character Guest Post by Detective Katie Scott of Little Girls Sleeping by Jennifer Chase

For today’s blog post, Detective Katie Scott from Jennifer Chase's new crime thriller, Little Girls Sleeping, tells us how a special dog changed her life. to tell. Without further ado, take it away Katie…

I knew I always wanted to work with dogs ever since I was eleven years old. We had all types of family dogs when I was growing; some purebreds and others were cleverly mixed varieties. All dogs have their place, their distinct personalities, their purpose, and a special place in your heart.

As I wrestled with where I belonged in my life, I decided to take a leave of absence from the police department as a patrol officer and enlist in the Army as a K9 handler. I wanted to use my love for dogs and my desire to help on a much larger scale—to make a difference. My parents had died in a car crash and things in my life didn’t make sense any more. I found myself becoming more aloof with people and life, and wondering where I fit into the world. Then a special dog changed me and my perspective—I saw the world in a whole new way.

I’ll never forget the day when I first saw Cisco. I was told that I would be working with him and he had a previous handler for a tour of a year and half. So many things went through my mind that it was difficult to maintain my calm professionalism. As I walked through the kennels with barking and jumping dogs, passing several German shepherds, Labrador retrievers, and a few Belgian Malinois. That was when I saw him. The black German shepherd with the most amazing wolf eyes I had ever seen waiting patiently in the very last kennel, tail wagging, ears fixed forward, and an eager demeanor.

I knelt down and we were face to face. I knew then that things would be different and I was going to embark on an adventure that few had ever experienced.  It was as if he had been waiting for me. Our journey had begun with had lasted for two tours to find bombs, tracking insurgents, and whatever the missions called for—some were great experiences—some too horrible to forget. It was a time that will forever change my life and the way I see the world around me—no matter where I am.

As I finally was ready to come home, I realized that I had to learn how to be Katie Scott again. I wouldn’t be able to do that without Cisco. I was able to bring him home and begin a new job as a police detective working cold cases. We weren’t officially a K9 team, but he comes with me part time.

I have made a full circle with my life and career. Cisco and I never know what cold case will be next, but I know that we’ll be just fine as long as we’re together.

Title: Little Girls Sleeping: An Absolutely Gripping Crime Thriller (Detective Katie Scott Book 1)
Author: Jennifer Chase
Publisher: Bookouture
Pages: 377
Genre: Thriller/Crime

BOOK BLURB:

He looked down at the little girl, sleeping peacefully, her arms wrapped around a teddy bear. He knew he was the only one who could save her. He could let her sleep forever.

An eight-year-old girl, Chelsea Compton, is missing in Pine Valley, California and for Detective Katie Scott it’s a cruel reminder of the friend who disappeared from summer camp twenty years ago. Unable to shake the memories, Katie vows she won’t rest until she discovers what happened to Chelsea.

But as Katie starts to investigate, the case reveals itself to be much bigger and more shocking than she feared. Hidden deep in the forest she unearths a makeshift cemetery: a row of graves, each with a brightly coloured teddy bear.

Katie links the graves to a stack of missing-persons cases involving young girls—finding a pattern no one else has managed to see. Someone in Pine Valley has been taking the town’s daughters for years, and Katie is the only one who can stop them.

And then another little girl goes missing, snatched from the park near her home.

Katie’s still haunted by the friend she failed to protect, and she’ll do anything to stop the killer striking again—but can she find the little girl before it’s too late?

Compulsive and gripping crime fiction for fans of Lisa Regan, Rachel Caine and Melinda Leigh. Katie Scott’s first case will have you on the edge of your seat and gasping with shock.

Readers love Jennifer Chase!

‘WHAT A FANTASTIC READ! OMG! I just finished reading this book! It was an absolute thrilling, edge-of-your-seat read!… I couldn't believe who the serial killer was; I thought I knew but was surprised! I could not put it down… BRAVO JENNIFER!!’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars

‘GREAT!!! Thoroughly enjoyed!!! Jennifer Chase has become one of my favorite crime thriller authors. She totally captures you from beginning to end!!!!’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars

‘Fantastic read! The author kept me hooked from the first page till the last. I truly thought I knew the serial killer… Boy was I wrong. This is a fantastic read, it kept me on the edge of my seat for the entire time. Well done!’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars

‘Wow!… Such a gripping tale… I couldn't stop reading and found myself daydreaming about it while I was supposed to be working… A gripping thriller with multiple twists and turns. A must read!’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars

‘Great book. I really liked it! Would like reading more of her books! This book keeps you involved and unable to put it down!! Great!!!!!’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars

‘Action-packed… An adrenaline-packed book from start to finish. ’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars

‘Wow… This book will take you for a ride. Have you soaked right in till the end! Absolutely loved it and can't wait to read another from this author!’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars

‘This is one of the best books I have read in a while.’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars

‘From beginning to end this is a non-stop thriller.’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars

‘Real page turner. I read this book in two hours. I could not put it down. I never guessed who the killer was until he was revealed. Mind blowing.’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars

‘Captivating from beginning to the last page. A "who did it" crime mystery that keeps you guessing, and then changing your mind!’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars

‘I loved this book and cannot wait for the next one. I could not put this book down. A real page turner full of suspense!’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars

ORDER YOUR COPY:

Amazon 

 

 

Jennifer Chase is a multi award-winning and best-selling crime fiction author, as well as a consulting criminologist. Jennifer holds a bachelor degree in police forensics and a master’s degree in criminology & criminal justice. These academic pursuits developed out of her curiosity about the criminal mind as well as from her own experience with a violent sociopath, providing Jennifer with deep personal investment in every story she tells. In addition, she holds certifications in serial crime and criminal profiling.  She is an affiliate member of the International Association of Forensic Criminologists, and member of the International Thriller Writers.
Her latest book is the thriller, Little Girls Sleeping: An Absolutely Gripping Crime Thriller (Detective Katie Scott Book 1).

WEBSITE & SOCIAL LINKS:

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 Author Blog: https://authorjenniferchase.com/

Book & Crime Talk:  http://blogtalkradio.com/jennifer-chase

Books: Compulsion   Dead Game   Dark Mind   Dead Burn   Dark Pursuit

Dead Cold  Scene of the Crime

Silent Partner   Body of the Crime   Screenwriting

 

Character Guest Post by Bryce Decker of Tough Karma: A Race Against Time by Laura Simmons

For today’s blog post, I’ve asked Bryce Decker from Laura Simmons' Tough Karma: A Race Against Time to tell us more about his beautiful cousin Amber. Without further ado, take it away Bryce…

I must be crazy to talk my beautiful cousin, Amber, into moving in with me. I’m afraid if I leave her alone to grieve over her dead husband and baby, that she will kill herself. It’s only temporary, and once she comes to terms with what has happened, she will move back to her apartment.

My problem is that I’m in love with her and I know that we are not blood relatives. I don’t have proof yet, but a friend of mine is a doctor and my brother, Luke, and Amber’s sister, Jenny, are having a DNA test done to prove we are not related.  It’s embarrassing that they can read me so easily and know how I feel, but at the same time I’m grateful to them. Amber doesn’t know about this, and I’m not going to say anything until I know for a fact that we aren’t biological cousins.

Even though she’s grieving right now, I see the way she looks at me sometimes. Just last night we shared a bottle of wine and a dip in the hot tub and she got tipsy. She confessed that if we weren’t related, she would be all over me. I politely changed the subject for fear I would do something I would later regret, like kiss her.  Those test results can’t get here soon enough. 

Another thing which is bothering me is if Amber and I start a romantic relationship, how much of my past should I confess? 

She doesn’t know that until recently I worked for Luke’s underground gambling club. I was the collector who roughed up people who couldn’t pay their debts to the club. If that wasn’t bad enough, I referred people to Luke’s hitman contacts for a fee. She also doesn’t know that her dead husband, James, came to me to put a hit on her when he found out that she was pregnant. He didn’t want his significant other, Holly, to find out he had been cheating on her. He didn’t know that Amber was my cousin.

If I hadn’t threatened to kill him myself, he might have hired someone else to kill Amber and I couldn’t let that happen. I put the fear of God into him and he married her. I don’t think I’ll say anything. I don’t want her to suffer more emotional pain, and dead men don’t talk anyway. For the record, I didn’t kill James. He dropped dead from a heart attack at work.

It pains me to see Amber so unhappy. I’ll do anything to bring back her smile.

Laura Simmons grew up in northern Virginia and spent most of her career working for various Department of Defense contractors in the Washington, DC area. She has a fascination with all things metaphysical. She enjoys writing, jigsaw puzzles, adult coloring books, vacationing at the beach with her husband, and studying tarot cards and other types of divination systems.

Website:  http://www.littlebitsofkarma.com

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/LauraSimmons37

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thekarmaseries

Astral travel and a deadly secret make for a gripping paranormal romance from start to finish.

Amber Macklin's world is cruelly shattered when she loses her baby girl three months after her husband's sudden death. Her cousin, Bryce, comes to her rescue, moving her into his home for fear she will kill herself from the grief. He provides solace and a shoulder to cry on, and he has loved her as more than a cousin for a long time. Amber and Bryce soon discover they are not blood relatives, which opens the door for romance as he pulls her through her darkest hours. When Mike, a college friend of Bryce's, stops by to visit, Amber senses a deadly secret behind his nice guy persona. She has a frightening dream that Mike is trying to kill her and recurring sleepwalking episodes where she draws detailed pictures of him torturing her. Deeply troubled, Bryce uses his ability to astral travel to investigate Mike and uncover his terrifying past. Mike has had his eye on Amber for some time, and when he learns that Bryce and Amber have become lovers, he is furious. Mike abducts Amber and takes her to his rural Georgia hideaway, and Bryce must rely on his astral abilities to track her down. But will he be too late? 

Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Tough-Karma-Race-Against-Time-ebook/dp/B01NCWLQBK

Barnes & Noble

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/tough-karma-laura-simmons/1125444644?ean=2940157291990

Character Guest Post by Skylar Haines of High Flying by Kaylin McFarren

For today’s blog post, I’ve asked Skylar Haines, one of the characters in Kaylin McFarren's new book, High Flying, to guest with us today. Without further ado, take it away Skylar…

“You think you’ve had it rough?” Skylar asked. “You haven’t got a clue. When my father died, my mother went off the deep end in a big way. She just couldn’t cope…couldn’t get her head around the idea of him being a drug smuggler or the fact that he left her with a baby to raise on her own. Both of their parents refused to accept their marriage from the get-go, so a handout or support of any kind was out of the question. Which is why my mother ended up living in a scuzzy, flea-bitten hotel room, selling herself to shitheads to make the rent. That’s where I was born. Delivered into this ugly world by a stripper my mother befriended. Talk about dark comedy. Apparently, neither one of them knew what they were doing.”

Skylar smiled and shook her head. “It didn’t take long for things to go from bad to worse. Drug dealers and crackheads became my mother’s best customers. They also supplied her…wiping out the reality she had to face every day. When she wasn’t shooting up, stuffing coke up her nose, or screwing random guys, she sat back watching neighbors take turns feeding me, until I was old enough to feed myself. Then I became the caretaker…just 7-years-old. I was the one that snuffed out her cigarettes so the couch didn't catch fire. I learned how to lie, how to hide when necessary, and how to forge my mother’s name on checks. And for a while, everything seemed to be going fine, until the rent check bounced. That was the day the landlord came knocking and my mother never came home. How could she with her throat slashed by the john who stiffed her?”

Skylar blew out a sigh. “I remember finding her in the street, spread out for the world to see. I never knew that much blood was inside of a body or that people could be so cruel. Yeah, there must have been close to a dozen people passing by, yet not one person bothered to stop. No one cared that I was on my knees sobbing next to my dead mother…at least that’s how it seemed. They all looked away and just kept walking…minding their own business. Then the cops showed up. I was taken away and eventually turned over to Jessop Haines…my father’s father. And that’s when I discovered the real meaning of hell.”

 

KAYLIN MCFARREN has received more than 45 national literary awards, in addition to a prestigious Golden Heart Award nomination for FLAHERTY’S CROSSING – a book she and her oldest daughter, New York Times/USA Today best-selling author, Kristina McMorris, co-authored in 2008. Prior to embarking on her writing journey and developing the popular THREADS psychological thriller series, she poured her passion for creativity into her work as the director of a fine art gallery in the Pearl District in Portland, Oregon; she also served as a governor-appointed member of the Oregon Arts Commission. When she’s not traveling or spoiling her pups and three grandsons, she enjoys giving back to her community through participation and support of various charitable and educational organizations in the Pacific Northwest, and is currently the president of the Soulful Giving Foundation – a non-profit focused on cancer research, care and treatment at hospitals throughout Oregon.
Website: www.kaylinmcfarren.com
Blog: https://kaylinmcfarren.blog
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/4kaylin
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/AuthorKaylinMcFarren

 …ten minutes to survive the past.
Skylar Haines has struggled with personal demons most of her life, going to dark extremes to subdue anxieties rooted in her tragic past. On a perpetual hunt for the next adrenaline hit, she discovers a passion for flying and becomes a hard-edged stunt pilot, verging on obsession. In the sky, following her most daring airshow, she encounters a mysterious storm and almost collides with another aircraft, sending her into a perilous dive. Guided by a mysterious voice, she manages a safe landing but finds herself transported to another time. Eight months before she was born, one week before her father was murdered.
Though baffled by her circumstances, Skylar soon arrives at a single certainty: Before her lies a remarkable chance to change her family’s destiny drastically for the better — or possibly even worse — depending on the choices she makes, before her window of opportunity closes.

AMAZON

First Chapter Reveal: The Desire Card by Lee Matthew Goldberg

Title: THE DESIRE CARD
Author: Lee Matthew Goldberg
Publisher: Fahrenheit Press
Pages: TBA
Genre: Crime/Suspense

Any wish fulfilled for the right price. That's the promise the Desire Card gives to its elite clients. But if the Card doesn’t feel like they’ve been justly compensated, the “price” will be more menacing than the clients could ever imagine.   

Harrison Stockton learns this lesson all too well. Harrison has lived an adult life of privilege and excess: a high-powered job on Wall Street along with a fondness for alcohol and pills, and a family he adores, yet has no time for. All of this comes crashing to a halt when he loses his executive job and discovers he has liver cirrhosis with mere months left to live.

After finding himself far down on the donor list, Harrison takes matters into his own hands. This decision sparks a gritty and gripping quest that takes him to the slums of Mumbai in search of a black market organ and forces him under the Desire Card’s thumb. When his moral descent threatens his wife and children, Harrison must decide whether to save himself at any cost, or do what’s right and put a stop to the Card.

THE DESIRE CARD is a taut international thriller that explores what a man will do to survive when money isn’t always enough to get everything he desires. It’s the first book in a series followed by PREY NO MORE that focuses on other people indebted to this sinister organization, where the actual price is the cost of one’s soul.

"Careful what you wish for, especially from a nefarious shadow organization, in this gripping start to Lee Matthew Goldberg's fast-paced, highly compelling, buzz worthy new series. If you love characters morally compromised, richly drawn, and constantly surprising, you'll love THE DESIRE CARD. I burned through the first book and can't wait to get my hands on PREY NO MORE to see where this endlessly exciting story takes me next! Loved it!” - Daniel Palmer, critically acclaimed suspense author

Amazon

HARRISON SAT OUTSIDE THE OFFICE OF THE MANAGING DIRECTOR AWAITING HIS FATE. The end of the month meant slash and burn time, but he had successfully avoided the axe for twelve months now. Something told him this wasn’t going to be lucky number thirteen. After almost twenty years of dedication, he swore he wouldn’t beg, wouldn’t give that fucker Thom Bartlett any satisfaction in letting him go. Thom, with his faux British accent even though he lived in the U.S. since he was two, his nose up the CEO’s ass at every chance, his chastising of Harrison’s “extracurricular activities,” even though Thom was just as guilty of similar vices. Harrison stared at this fucker’s door, as if by monitoring he could will it to stay closed and ensure that he’d forever remain a part of Sanford & Co.’s Mergers and Acquisitions team.

A sharp pain in his abdomen caused him to pitch forward. His stomach churned as a flood of bile crept up his throat. Thom’s door now appeared so out of focus that for a second Harrison forgot where he was.

            “Bad lunch?” his buddy Whit whispered, from a nearby seat.

Thom’s ancient secretary glanced up at them from her fury of typing and went back to punishing the keys.

Harrison clutched his stomach and let out a stifled belch. The air now smelled like he’d been dining on garbage. His chronic halitosis had only been getting worse. He could barely recall the last time he’d kissed Helene like when they were young with an appetite to devour. At most he received a peck while she held her breath. It’s not like her body hadn’t also changed, and yet he still found her a knockout: whip-smart and sophisticated, alluring whenever she was in deep thought and chewed on the earpiece of her reading glasses. Only once had he participated in a particular “extracurricular activity” outside of their marriage. It was something he instantly regretted—but she had been treating him like a pariah in the bedroom for almost a year, and he found himself in the arms of another. So now he let her give those little digs about his hygiene, one of the small pleasures she seemed to have during the scant few hours a day when he was home.

Whit seemed to inch his chair away from Harrison’s death burp and occupied himself with the new Breitling hanging from his wrist. Here the two were about to be sliced up and gutted and Whit had spent last weekend dropping $10K on a watch. Sure Harrison indulged in more luxuries than most and hated his old Tag enough to go splurging, but unlike Whit, he had two kids in uptown private schools to worry about.

“Drinks at Mobeley’s later tonight?” Whit asked, placing his hand on Harrison’s shoulder. “Whatever the outcome of this summons might be?”

Harrison nodded with tired eyes.

“You’re a VP here, Harry. Higher up on the rung than me. You’ve got a better chance of surviving.”

Whit’s hand still massaged Harrison’s shoulder, but his encouragement was not convincing. He had probably expected a similar consoling reply, except the room was spinning too much for Harrison to care.

“You’re not looking well,” Whit said. Thom’s secretary seemed to glance up from her typing again to nod in agreement. The two of them caught each other’s eye, as if they were conspiring against him. Well, we couldn’t all look like Whit. Just a few years younger but still with a full head of thick black hair only slightly graying at the temples, something that made him appear even more distinguished. Pecs and abs that he never shut up about. A terror on the racquetball courts who slaughtered Harrison every time. The son of a well-known surgeon at N.Y.U Medical with a hot Japanese wife barely out of her twenties whose goal in life was to be at his beck and call. Whit had been made an Associate two years earlier than Harrison and was able to maintain a rapport with the higher ups that Harrison could never manage: calling the CEO Dougie to his face instead of Mr. Sanford and still having a job the next day.

The secretary picked up the phone on her desk while still typing away.

“Certainly, Mr. Bartlett,” she chirped into the receiver, and then turned her disapproving gaze to Harrison. “Mr. Bartlett will see you now, Mr. Stockton.”

Harrison gathered up his briefcase and overcoat. He had to hold onto the seat as he stood, his feet pivoting and almost sending him to the ground.

“Gotta watch those martini lunches,” Whit said, slapping Harrison on the back and pushing him toward his doom.

Harrison put one foot in front of the other slowly, avoiding Thom’s inevitable decision for as long as possible.

Even if he wound up getting let go today, an outsider looking in might assume that his life was still going well: two decades of marriage, healthy kids, and a fantastic New York apartment; but he felt like he’d just been going through the motions for too long. A major chunk had been missing, a spark of excitement, adventure, and meaning. He couldn’t put his finger on what it was, just that he desperately longed for it to exist.

As he put his hand on the doorknob and turned, he tried to think of what would make him happy, something he wanted more than anything that would cause him to shoot out of bed every morning with a smile.

He squeezed his eyes shut, willing this desired vision to appear, but all he saw was darkness.

[]

  Who in their right mind didn’t covet Thom Bartlett’s office? High floor with downtown skyline views, fluffy clouds outside of the windows, a wet bar that Harrison eyed. Some good Scotch had already been opened. Harrison had forced himself to keep sober during a gobbled lunch of an Italian sub without his trusty flask to chase it down. Now his hands trembled at the thought of that Scotch burning his throat.

“Can I offer you something?” Thom asked, indicating the bar with a grand sweep of his arm, as if to say, yes, I have a bar in my office, which you, dear sir, never had here and regrettably never will.

“I might as well,” Harrison coughed, scooting over and pouring two shots worth into a glass. He sat across from Thom and put the comforting drink to his lips.

Thom fiddled with a stack of papers in a folder on his desk. He looked up at Harrison through the thick frames he kept low on his sloping nose, almost touching his top lip.

“So Sanford & Co. has become swollen lately. We’re too big for our own good right now and need to restructure–”

“Just spit it out,” Harrison said, knocking back half the glass of Scotch.

“I’m sorry, Harrison. We’re going to have to let you go, effective today.”

Thom delivered this news while fixing his Windsor knot, which Harrison figured had taken him numerous tries that morning to perfect. Harrison wanted to grab him by that knot and choke his tiny little bird head until it popped off.

“I’ve given practically twenty years to this firm,” he said, running his hands through his thinning hair. “I sleep here, I eat here. I barely exist at home anymore.”

“It’s the same for all of us, mate.”

“I’m not your fucking mate,” Harrison said, finishing the rest of the Scotch and starting to sway.

“Old boy, I am not the villain here. Every firm on the Street has been feeling this strain since the economy collapsed. Now we are offering you a solid severance package, which I think is more than generous. I’ll also save you the spectacle of having security escort you out.”

“What was Sanford’s reason?” Harrison asked quietly, not wanting to hear the answer but knowing that he’d be unable to leave without one.

Thom had already started pushing the folder across the desk, shutting Harrison up, getting this over with. His face looked exhausted from delivering executions.

“We’ve heard from some clients,” he said, taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Heard what…?”

“Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately, huh, Harry?” he asked, his voice rising to the level of an uncomfortable squeal. “Your skin, mate…sorry, but you’re looking rather yellow, and your eyes, well there’s this permanent creaminess to them… I’m just using the client’s words–”

“Which client?”

“Which one hasn’t mentioned this is more like it.”

Harrison went to respond but now Thom was on a roll.

“As a VP, this is a face-to-face business. I go for manicures, mate, you think I like it–it’s a requirement. Maybe if you cut back on the drink….”

“I’ve advised some huge mergers here over the years.” Harrison pointed at Thom with his empty glass. “I didn’t realize this was only a pretty boys game.”

“You’ve let some messy pitchbooks slide through recently, as well.”

“Shouldn’t the analysts be blamed for creating them?”

“Don’t think they haven’t been dealt with, too.”

“So maybe I’ve gotten lax with a couple of pitchbooks for smaller clients, but never any of the big ones.”

“When…was the last time you’ve been to a doctor, Harry?”

“Doctors,” Harrison said, brushing them all away with a flick of his wrist. He had always believed that no matter what, doctors tried to find something wrong with you so you’d give them more business. And yeah, his skin had developed a yellowish hue as of late and sometimes his gut felt like it was rotting. Varicose veins had multiplied along his thighs and there were moments when he’d lose balance and have to go and dry heave in an empty stall once no one else was around, but he was a professional drinker just like his dad had been, and that son-of-a-bitch had put back a liter of gin and a pack of smokes a day up until the ripe old age of eighty-eight. Hell, who needed to live longer than that anyway? Life could be brutal, and if some booze, some smokes and some pills provided a relief from the banality of it all, then screw any doctor who’d tell him otherwise.

Thom tapped on the folder to indicate that it was time to wrap this up.

“I have to make sure that you understand what’s in the package,” he said, pushing it closer to Harrison until it practically fell off the desk.

Harrison opened it up and flipped through: six months pay, benefits as well, blah, blah, blah. He closed it shut and went to throw it in his briefcase.

“Tut tut,” Thom said, wagging his finger. “There’s something you missed that Mr. Sanford wanted to make sure you saw.”

Harrison re-opened the folder and spied a card clipped to the first page.

 []

 “What the hell is a Desire Card?”

Thom reached over and un-clipped the card.

“You have been a valued employee here. Mr. Sanford wanted to make sure you understood that we’re not parting on bad terms. This is what’s best for everyone.”

Thom handed him the card. Harrison turned it over and over with his stubby fingers.

“It’s like…a phone or something too?”

“Of sorts, just to keep their network as secure and exclusive as possible. We didn’t include this in everyone’s package, so you know. This is an organization that Mr. Sanford has a long history with, very hush-hush obviously, very elite. If you want something…anything…they have the power to make it happen.”

“Can they get me my job back?”

“Cute, Harrison, don’t ever lose that charm.”

Thom reached over to take the empty glass away.

“So tonight, Harry, instead of drowning your sorrows in a bottle, give the Card a try and have them ring you up a girl I guarantee you’ll enjoy. Or whatever else you wish. We promise we’ll give a glowing report to any future job prospects so consider this the start of a paid vacation.”

Thom stuck out his hand to shake, the nails manicured, no rogue cuticles to speak of; but the hand was delicate and unassuming, not someone with the power to hold Harrison’s life in his palm, just a meager messenger. Harrison slipped the Desire Card in his pocket and shook Thom’s hand, squeezing hard as Thom grimaced.

“And see a doctor,” Thom replied, giddy now that this ordeal was over.

“Watch out, you’ll be gutted next,” Harrison said, rising and feeling his legs give out. He collapsed back into the chair as Thom let out a spurt of a laugh.

“You all right there, mate?”

“Piss on England.”

Harrison gave standing up another try. He gripped Thom’s desk for support. Thom looked worried that Harrison might take the whole desk down with him, but Harrison was doing his best to maintain even though it felt like he was viewing Thom through the wrong end of a telescope.

“You can go ahead and send Mr. Carmichael in,” Thom said, fixing his Windsor knot again that had become slightly askew. “Best to Helene and the children.”

Harrison slung his coat over his arm and gripped his briefcase as he headed for the door. After a few steps, his vision became cloudier and he could feel the creamy tears falling from his eyes. They stung his cheeks as he grappled with the doorknob and lurched into the hallway.

In the front office, Whit was leaning over the secretary’s desk; the two engaged in hushed words that stopped once Harrison emerged. Harrison ran his finger from one side of his neck to the other. Whit gave him a solemn nod back, but Harrison couldn’t hold it in any longer and puked up the barely digested Scotch.

“Oh my!” he heard the secretary say.

He stared at his sickness bubbling on the floor, a mix of half-chewed capicola and salami in an amber soup with specks of dark red blood throughout, the clots of blood so dark they looked like tar. He wiped his mouth and trudged past all the onlookers toward the elevators outside, glad that a part of him would remain embedded in Sanford & Co.’s carpet.

As the elevator arrived and he stepped inside, he wished for the undoing of everyone involved in his termination, knowing that only their collective downfall could get him to shoot out of bed with a smile.

Lee Matthew Goldberg is the author of SLOW DOWN and THE MENTOR (St. Martin’s Press), which was acquired by Macmillan Entertainment with the film in development. He has been published in multiple languages and nominated for the 2018 Prix du Polar. The first two books in a thriller series, THE DESIRE CARD and PREY NO MORE, are forthcoming from Fahrenheit Press in winter 2019. His pilots and screenplays have been finalists in Script Pipeline, Stage 32, We Screenplay, the New York Screenplay, Screencraft, and the Hollywood Screenplay contests. After graduating with an MFA from the New School, his writing has also appeared in the anthology DIRTY BOULEVARD, The Millions, The Montreal Review, The Adirondack Review, Essays & Fictions, The New Plains Review, and others. He is the co-curator of The Guerrilla Lit Reading Series (guerrillalit.wordpress.com). He lives in New York City. Follow him at leematthewgoldberg.com and @LeeMatthewG.

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